|
Sunday, July 26, 2009 6:08 AM
|
Who would've thought I'd still passionately care for someone amidst this heart that had long gone cold and dull? When I've already inculcated in my being that I'm better alone than with anyone. When I've already chosen to keep myself away from all the pain that I might get. When I must admit, I've still not totally recuperated from my recent past relationship (1yr = recent past?!) When this heart knocks in, no one could really say no nor turn his/her back from it.. It's inevitably uncontrollable.. Once it happens, then it happens.. No matter how hard we try to suppress the feeling, it would still end up surfacing itself.. Thus, we've left with no choice but to surrender and succumb ourselves to it.. For the past couple of months, a dear friend of mine had been showing his intentions to me.. If you'd read the past posts I had here, you'd know I'd already tackled a bit of him already. Though I was still in complete denial then.. Back then, I still knew I was in control of everything.. And that thin line between friendship and intimacy had still been clearly drawn. I was not faltering with my belief and convictions that time, though I somehow knew I was already feeling a bit for him.. He never really knew what I had already been dealing with.. I really had no intentions of letting him know for this would just trigger his will to fully fight for his feelings. And if that happens, this mind over matter predisposition and discretion would totally go out of hand.. KARMA is a bitch, I know..! I was long been fooling myself of this feelings and now it gets back at me.. Amidst every situation I get to have myself in everyday, the more I find out how deeply I am already caring for him.. I know it's absurd.. But that's just how it works.. But he still and will always remain clueless of it.. He'll never know I was fooling myself infront of him and was already immensely caring for him behind his back..
comment
(6)
|